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Responsibilities of the Hares:
The hares, of course, determine the start and end of the trail as well as how the pack gets from the start to the end. They also provide a vehicle (fondly referred to as the "Shag wagon") to carry hasher's bags and a driver for the beer wagon if it is an A to B trail. The hares also determine the location for the party to continue after the circle adjourns (referred to as "on after"). The hares can also create a theme for the hash and request that hashers wear certain attire (such as a red dress or a goofy hat) or bring some specific items (such as a potluck dish or something to grill). The hares might also ask you to bring something you'll need for the trail (such as a flashlight for trails that include a tunnel). All the pertinent information (start location, directions to the start, turkey/eagle options, theme, attire and/or items for each hasher to bring, location of the on afters, and a point of contact and phone number for questions) needs to be provided to the Webmaster (currently Kitty Fucker) no later than the Tuesday prior to the Saturday of the hash.
Rules, Rules, Rules:
It's been said that the only rule of the Hash is that there are no rules. But of course, to just about every rule, there are exceptions. And we actually do have just a few little rules which help the running of the Hash go smoothly. Distance: 4 to 6 miles. In general, we're talking about two trails, the Turkey and the Eagle. We have a fair number of walkers and Hashers with strollers for the Turkey Trail and macho types for the Eagle Trail. Ideally, they should end their respective trails at about the same time. Thus, a somewhat shorter Turkey Trail is called for. Distance from A to B: The Albuquerque Hash usually runs an A to B Hash. The Harriers don't know where the finish (B) is unless they follow the trail. The best finish is located within one mile of the start (A) in case we don't have enough cars for the shuttle back to the start. If you plan a run in which the driving distance from B back to A is long (such as from the Sandia Foothills to Juan Tabo, please pre-position a few cars at the B, even if it means telling a few Hashers (sworn to secrecy) where the B is.
When You're On, You're On:
OK. We all know that the Hash begins with the sounding of the horn or whistle. And, we also know that this usually results in about 20% of the Hash taking off and wandering around aimlessly in circles (at least this is the way it appears to the other 80%). Of course this apparent chaos is, in fact, a concerted somewhat unscientific effort by the few, in service to the many, to find the correct trail. If a Hasher finds three consecutive On Ons along a trail, road, gap, field or whatever then he/she is on the right route and, in Hash parlance, this is known as being ON. As long as an additional On On can be found along the same route then he continues to be ON. Now it's the job of the Hares, those unmentionables that set the trail, to screw up the runners and keep the whole group together. They may do this by simply taking a turn and hope that you miss it, or they may use a number of weapons in their arsenal.
Arsenal of Weapons:
The ON ON
or
(Two toots of your whistle). The Hare uses an arrow or a dollop of flour to indicate a trail. However, this tail may not necessarily be the right one. A Hare can attempt to throw you off trail be leaving a couple of these marks followed by a False Tail mark (see below).
The True Trail
(Three toots of your whistle). The Hare periodically uses an arrow with three lines through it to indicate the True Trail. This truly means that you are on the correct path. Only the Hare can use this mark. If you find a True Trail mark off of a Check, you can be assured that you are on the correct path. Any Hare who lays a True Trail mark in the midst of a False Trail should be stripped immediately!
The Check
(also called Intersection). The main purpose of a check is to slow down the FRB's (Front Running Bitches/Bastards) and allow the slower Hashers a chance to catch up. Checks, as indicated by a circle of flour with an X inside, are usually placed at a point along the route where there are intersecting trails or roads. At this point your trail of On Ons will cease to exist and it's the job of the Hashers to spread out and find the new route, otherwise known as checking. You may find no On Ons, one or two On Ons, a False Trail sign. However, only one direction can have 3 or more On Ons (except for a YBF which can have many On Ons before you reach it) and, of course, this one is now ON. The Check is also considered to be a true trail mark, so you can be assured that you have been on the true trail up to the Check.
The False Trail
or
(One long toot of your whistle). False Trails (Bad Trails) are marked with three parallel lines (|||), or one of the other pictured mark, blocking your path . It's really only acceptable for the Hare to use these marks. If you come across one of these, you need to return to the last Check and look for another trail. Hashers are not allowed to proceed beyond a False Trail mark. You must turn around and go back the way you came.
The Beer Stop
or
(Preferably). A well-laid trail usually has at least one beer stop. The beer is typically somewhat hidden from obvious public view but should be found with a little Hash diligence whenever one of these signs is seen.
Important Note: The letters BC or BVC can be used, however, to indicate that the trail ahead is dangerous. In this case BC would stand for Be Careful and BVC would stand for Be Very Careful. Please do use BVC or even BVFC (Be Very Fucking Careful) when the trail warrants it so that the hounds do not unknowingly risk life or limb.
This is the most welcome sign in Hashing! The On In
(Three toots of your whistle and yell ON IN!). Typically this mark is laid within at least 1/4 mile of the on-in (finish) and usually closer than that!
Calling (or Is Anybody Home?):
The Hash relies on calling. We sometimes have the Hash Horn (usually WPOS), whose job is to stay in the middle of the pack and act as a beacon, but the whole thing falls apart if we don't call. Everyone should participate in calling ON ON at the ON ONs or using the whistle. This includes all Hashers, from the front runners to the last of the bunch.
The Calls of the Wild:
"ARE YOU?"- This is the only call that is a question. And, because we're a somewhat simple-minded group, it's the only question that we ever ask. All other calls are a response to the question, "ARE YOU?"
"ON-ON!" - Music to a Hasher's ear. This is the correct response if you are on the right trail. In addition, when already on the right trail, Hashers should call "ON ON!" each and every time they come across an additional dot of flour. It's important that all hashers call the ON - it's our primitive communication system that alerts everyone down the line the proper way to go.
"CHECKING!" - When you approach a check, or if you are checking and have not found any dots, you should call this loud and clear.
"ON ONE!" - Call this when you are checking and you find one On On or if you're checking and someone else calls to you "ARE YOU?" and you've found one On On.
"ON TWO!"- Call this when you are checking and you've found two On Ons and if you're checking and someone else calls to you "ARE YOU?" and you've found two On Ons.
"ON THREE!"- Call this when you are checking and you've found three On Ons and if you're checking and someone else calls to you "ARE YOU?" and you've found three On Ons. Three On Ons after a Check mark should indicate a True Trail, unless you reach a YBF (a longer version of the False Trail), or if the Hare totally screwed up (in which case, s/he will drink for it!).
"LOOKING!" - If you're looking for On On, but are not at a Check, then the proper response is "LOOKING!"
"ON-IN!" - Call this when you see the ON-IN or written on the ground.
"BEER NEAR!"- Call this when you see the BEER NEAR written on the ground. The finish (ON-IN) should be within 1/4 mile when you find a BEER NEAR.